Because these posts don’t always have to be deep. And because I will be heading back to therapy in 2.5 hours, knowing something deep will come of that… Right now I am going to purge magic and fun and dreams and nothingness…

I love reading, but I never seems to find consistent time to pick up my books. My kindles battery runs out once through every book I read. I am reading the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and I think it is bad for relationships. Where the writing is absurd and awful at times, the complete and utter lack of relationship reality that is shared between the main characters is not good. Realistically, I know no relationship works this way, no person completely re-evaluates themselves for another, no person with extreme issues is healed by a loving heart in a relationship and no one gets busy that often. But, parts of the book keep bringing me back… In book two, the stalker has kept my interest. I just didn’t know when she would present herself and what would happen next, now I do. I will finish the books out of sheer need to watch the car accident happen and then I will move on to “Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected” because that is real life. That is someone’s heart splayed on pages, telling a real life story of pain, love, acceptance and strength. I will always ebb and flow between book styling and I much prefer the books to the movies. I should read more, when I find the time.

I want. I want. I want. It is always when money is low and bills take priority that I want to splurge and shop. It is when I want to plan a grand vacation. It is when I want to focus on what matters least and expand my shoe collection. It is when I find the best dress at the store and suddenly have a desire to wear rings and earrings. It is when Summer is changing into Fall and surely I need some new Fall threads. It when I would spot some earring studs and stacking rings on Pinterest that I truly want to add to my wardrobe. There are boots to be bought. There are sweaters to snuggle into. There are cuter lunchboxes than my own. I could easily plan a trip to a location with Fall colors and weather, I could easily dream of a winter vacation where I become a ski bum. I could easily plan to escape and snuggle into bed longer every morning, indulge in food throughout the day and spend the night cozy by a fire reading a book. It’s always when it makes no sense that I want.

I am the epitome of chaos within… My brain moves so fast, thinks of so many things, moves from subject to subject quickly. This blog helps me get the words out and the ideas free. This blog allows me to dump the deep and dream the impossible. This blog allows me to be my quirky and chaotic self for the world to see. Dream of pursuing passion, following dreams, learning how to photograph, cooking more for my family, becoming a fashionable lady, getting facials and pedicures to make my outsides feel good, going to therapy to make my insides right… This is my dump place. This is my safe place. This is me.