It’s time… Time to change our routine. My toddler is officially two and a half and I have made a habit of co-sleeping. The co-sleeping came to be primarily from guilt and a selfish desire to be near my baby just a couple minutes more. To hear her sweet peaceful breathing and watch her as she faded into her dreams. I felt guilty for the lack of time I felt she was getting from me, guilty for the chaotic little schedule she keeps, guilty that I am a full-time working mom, guilty that she is carted to multiple houses and has multiple routines. I felt selfish because I wanted more time with her, more cuddles and snuggles and I wanted to watch that sweet little face completely at peace and safe. However, it is time, the co-sleeping has turned into a toddler in control, a toddler unable to fall asleep on her own, a toddler that is uncomfortable in her own room, a toddler that is scared to fall asleep unless she is sleeping with an adult.
Tonight begins the process of breaking the bad, selfish habit that has come to be in our home. I will miss my snuggles and cuddles and bedtime routine that includes Avery falling asleep in my arms. I will miss the giggles and playing in bed and jokes we would play on each other in those final moments of our day. I will miss her snuggling up to my back and tucking her head into my neck and hearing her breathing turn into a deep breathing sleep. It is time. It is time to train the toddler to feel safe with the independence of her own room. It is time for the mama to take back the control. It is time to have adult time in the house again…. time to reconnect, time to catch up on our days happenings, time to relax and watch TV, time to read…
I’ve read a lot & I am prepared. The routine has been built; bath, brush teeth, pajama time, read books, turn on music & a few cuddles. Then the hard work begins, no grand good night, no grand departure, no grand to do about her sleeping in her own room. The tears that may follow, the timing between visits to calm the tears and the urge to rescue her are where the true challenge begins.
The chart is built. I am nervous. This is going to be great. Miss Doodle will be a baby that some day soon, sleeps in her own bed with a peaceful little heart.