Melanie Jeanne

I Forgive Me

[photo credit: melanie moore]

I forgive myself for not accomplishing everything on my list of “to do’s”. I forgive myself for not brushing my toddlers hair before school today. I forgive myself for not writing another blog post before bed. I forgive myself for not washing the dishes right after dinner. I forgive myself for forgetting to take my vitamins today. I forgive myself for letting my four year old stay up until 11pm on a school night. I forgive myself for wanting to eat dinner out tonight. I forgive myself for turning a blind eye to the dust on the fan. I forgive myself.

Today I forgive myself for everything I wanted to do and didn’t, everything I wanted to accomplish and failed to, for every dream I dreamt and didn’t pursue.

I am usually writing about how to balance reality and dreaming, responsibilities and goals. But, today I am cutting myself a break. Today  I recognize that everything I have accomplished and everything I have completed is good enough. Today I am not looking down on myself for all that I left undone, but rather proud of myself for all that I have done.

I more often than not am telling myself I am not living up to, I am not chasing hard enough, I am not balancing better… And I realize all this negative self-talk is certainly not paying myself the credit I deserve for what I am doing. Every morning I awaken to the sound of the alarm, I ensure my family rises at their desired times, I get myself and a toddler ready (the level of grace all depends on the time on the clock), I pack lunches and prepare protein shakes. Everyday I am a chauffeur, I am a mom at Pre-K drop off, I am a lady racing to make it to her first meeting, I am a woman trying to fit in a run and make a healthy meal. Every weekday I am an employee balancing tasks and meetings, I am a full-time working mom managing schedules and responsibilities. I am a mom racing to weekend sports, doing laundry, cleaning house, managing play dates and parties.

I am doing enough. Every single day I am doing enough. There is a lot that doesn’t get done, but gosh darn it… I am doing enough. Today I will focus on the tasks at hand and attempt to create a little balance between responsibility and creativity.

I forgive me.

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