It was four short months ago that our family started our journey through another major transition. Doodle started Kindergarten.
It wasn’t easy. In fact there were a couple months of tears and emotions and temper tantrums and fear and anger and talking back and clinging on. There were months of slow starts and racing to get to school on time. There were weeks with missed homework assignments and late signed papers. There were days with packed lunches and days in which we owed money for the hot lunch because someone forgot to pack said lunch. There were the first signs of clicks and judgements and hard things. There were “I didn’t play with anyone at lunch today and sat on a bench alone and I was lonely” comments, “so-and-so said you pack me junk in my lunch, I only want to eat hot lunches now” judgements and “my friend was mean today and said we weren’t friends anymore” sadness. There were days when a certain Doodle was sent home with a “yellow” for hitting or kicking someone else, there were days where she admitted she had wet her pants at lunch and was so embarrassed that she sat in it until it dried. There were the moments of “I don’t want to’s” and “why do I have to’s.”
This transition wasn’t simply challenging for Doodle, there were a lot of getting used to the rhythms for all of us. Tennis shoes on PE days, but wait, what day is PE anyway? Signed reading logs, I don’t know how many books we’ve read that have simply not made it onto the log. I am certain we look like a lackadaisical co-parenting little family. There were the struggles with behaving in class, challenges with reading, being behind in class and being sent to the “helping” room to provide additional education support. You name it; we ran the gamut of emotions in the first four months of elementary school.
There were many times I had the choke in the back of my throat, when I was in tears over my tiny human and this new journey. There have been many times that I have been utterly and completely defeated and felt like a miserable failure.
But the victories, oh the victories, they are so sweet.
We now have a little who reads. We have a girl who misses school when she isn’t there. We have open communication with her teacher and continued support within the system. We have fallen into a rhythm of homework and reading tutoring and positive conversations about the hard stuff. Now I hear “I wish Mrs. Geary was with us right now, she’s no nice and supportive and kind.”
Sure I am still struggling to ensure every document is signed and I still don’t know what day PE is, but we get to school on time. And my girl seems to love it!
I used to be sad that she was scared and nervous and timid, now I am sad that she is confident and independent and brave… She doesn’t need me anymore. She’s growing up in confidence and courage. I guess we are doing our jobs well.