Melanie Jeanne

My Heart

Every single day my heart shatters.

Every. Single. Day.

This parenting gig, it takes its toll and without fail, every single day my heart shatters. Into one million little pieces. It is the absolute best moment of my day and the absolute worst. It is the moment I watch my little walk away and head into school.

Wearing her too big for her backpack, running in her little Nike’s, as her little body weaves in and out of much taller kiddos through a huge school to her little space and place in kindergarten.

I never realized in a single moment my heart would simultaneously burst with pride and shatter because of her independence. I never realized how nervous every little independent moment would make me feel while also allowing my heart to soar. I never realized how often I would hold my breath, linger just a tad longer in the parent drop-off line to ensure her safety. I never realized I would grin from ear to ear as I watched her integrate with friends and start playing. I never realized how much I would wish she would look back one last time and how proud of her I would be that she didn’t. I never realized that I would want to stop time so desperately all the while filling with excitement to see the next major change and growth. I never realized I would be so utterly captivated and in love all at the same time.

This parenting thing sure does take its toll.

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