To the two mother’s I am blessed to be raising daughters with, THANK YOU.
To the mother that I share my Doodle with, I am so glad you are in her life and I love you for loving her so good. I know I am “supposed” to hate the idea of sharing Doodle with you. I know I am “supposed” to struggle with you. I know I am “supposed” to do a lot of things that imply negativity. But, really, I just love you for loving her. I love when she tells me stories about things you do together; babysitting your friend’s kiddos, painting nails, shopping. I love when I ask her where she got some of her cute clothes and she says you bought it for her. I love when I ask her what she did at her daddy’s house and she gets excited explaining all the details of your family and the love she shares with all of you.
Raising a daughter is hard. Raising a daughter as a divorced mom and dad feels even harder sometimes. Keeping rules and schedules and daily routines similar enough to raise her right is top of mind. But, raising a daughter with you feels easy. You are grounded and calm to my excited and active. You are sweet and quiet to my wild and loud. You are an unwavering support in her life and to you, my daughters other mommy, I say thank you.
To the mother that has raised my two bonus daughters so well, I say thank you. I know it was never in your life plan to have to share your girls with another woman. I know it is not ideal raising teenagers with a lady that has a different parenting style than yours and different views than yours. I am certain you hear a lot of stories about our house and me and how I behave or what I believe and I would bet it’s not comfortable to hear. For supporting me in becoming a bonus mom to your girls I say thank you. I know I will stumble often, I will not get this bonus parenting thing right regularly and for that I am sorry.
I am grateful to you for your support over the years. I am grateful that you respect and communicate with me at family events. I am grateful that you engage with Doodle and make her feel special. I am grateful that you have adjusted some of your traditions so that we could build some of our own in this world of blended families. I am grateful for the times I know you have gone to bat for me with the girls and I am grateful for all of the times that I don’t even know of that you bit your tongue on my behalf so that I could develop a relationship with your girls and learn how to bonus parent teenagers while being a brand new mom.
Ladies, it was never in any of our life plans to have to share our babies. We never intended to be tied to another woman for the rest of our lives based on marriage and divorce and new relationships and re-marriage. We never thought we would watch our little beating hearts walking outside of our bodies fall in love with someone else so unconditionally. Yet, such is our blended life and our beautiful connection.
Thank you for being part of my mommy journey. Because of the two of you I am a better woman. I am more understanding, more loving, more capable and more thoughtful.
Thank you. Thank you for being on this journey with me.