Words were flowing, goals were set. I was focused on launching 2017 in a manner that would create a successful trajectory. That is still my intention. However, right now I am numb.
My dad passed away last Wednesday. The words are swirling around in my head and my heart. I have started many posts, but I have yet to post a single one. The words are real, the emotions are raw. I am straddling between sharing what is real and completely emotional and what is real and simply a coping mechanism.
I want to share the journey traveled as I learn to live with this hole in my life and in my heart. Yet, it is a journey of many and the story is not only mine. I am struggling with the balance of sharing that which I am feeling and not over sharing that which my family members are experiencing. I also do not want to share the process to so many, potentially removing opportunity for those I love most to grieve in their own way, in their manner.
It would be so easy to post about shopping and redecorating house. It would be so easy to discuss healthy habits and my lack of effort in 2017. Yet, I am numb. It doesn’t feel right to share such trivial content when such an emotional journey is taking place. That content though, that content is also me.
So here I am, posting because I am here. I am present. I am open. And sharing only that which I can share right now, which is simply I am here. I am present. I am open.