Melanie Jeanne

Love More

More love and acceptance. That is exactly what we need right now.

The other morning I dropped the Doodle at school and watched lovingly as she dashed off to start her day. What transpired next was, from my vantage point, heart wrenching to me. Where I am not entirely sure what transpired, I am certain I was left with fear. From my perspective the Doodle approached two little girls already playing, they chatted briefly and then the two little girls ran away from my Doodle. It could have been nothing, it could have been something.

I left the parent pick-up line and Doodle’s school with a knot in my throat and a heavy heart. Without knowing the full details of what transpired I was left to my worst fears, that my baby was being left out. That the courage to walk up to others already playing and engage didn’t payoff. That bravery was met with exclusion.

You see, my girl hates jumping in as the third wheel. So do I. She would rather sit alone then join in a party already in progress. Me too. She is uncertain of friendships and timid in putting herself out there. I’ve grown more confident with age has I’ve gained more confidence in myself and who I am. I know that I don’t get to see who she is when I am not around, but the little girl I know and the one her teachers have indicated she is, is a sweet sensitive soul.

As life does, I was presented with a gift at just the right moment with just the right message. Hands Free Mama had recently written an article “Am I Invisible? The Pain-Relieving Response to Being Rejected or Excluded.” Every single word spoke to me. I realized this is not simply a fear for Doodle thing, this is a feeling my own feelings thing. My fears of being left out, ignored and excluded being stirred up by watching my child with other children. My discomfort entering a room where I know no one. My feeling of loneliness as I stand at school waiting on my Doodle while none of the other mamas talk to me, but engage with one another. My anxiety attending conferences and finding a seat amongst strangers. My self doubt walking into a new fitness class where others are already familiar with one another. As an adult, developing friendships and relationships can be scary and uncomfortable. Reading the words Hand Free Mama so eloquently put to page, I was reminded of the power of just one.

“Never underestimate the power you hold as ONE PERSON to save the life of another. “Come join us,” you’ll say with a smile. And the recipient will sigh with relief … angst gone instantly … a world of pain cut in half. One person can do that.” – Hands Free Mama

It was exactly what I needed not only for Doodle, but more so for me. To carry myself with more confidence and less fear. To teach and portray a person grounded in kindness and love to Doodle. Read if you will, and know, if you need a person, I will be your person. You are always invited. Join me, take a seat.

*** Wouldn’t you know, I followed up with Doodle after school and all was right in the world. Yes, what I suspected happened did in fact happen, she enter into a conversation and the girls just ran off. But it was no sweat off her back. She moved on found other friends to hang with before school started. My little duckie is teaching me a lot. ***

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